Separation/Divorce
Separation or divorce, for many couples, is one of the most difficult and defining events in life. This transition is often defined by intense feelings of loss, pain, grief, sadness, guilt, anger, conflict, betrayal, and financial uncertainty. This is true for children as well as adults. At MentalVerdure.com our goal is to assist families in transition to have healthier parents, children, and other individuals during and subsequent to this sensitive process.
MentalVerdure.com offers Families in Transition support. Our Families in Transition group of mental health professionals will support you and your family through the Divorce process and help you through the tough and painful experience of separation and divorce.
Our Families in Transition specialists support families before, during, and after separation/divorce. Families in Transition clinicians help in multiple ways such as to:
- Establish effective co-parenting and communication skills that result in healthier/happier children
- Assess children’s needs and functioning pre and post-separation/divorce
- Provide the best strategies for talking with children about separation/divorce at any developmental stage
- Provide expert guidance on the impact of separation/divorce on children from now into their distant future
- Advise parents about the latest research and strategies for raising families post-separation/divorce
- Help parents navigate and problem-solve co-parenting challenges and differences of opinion
- Prepare parents for a long future of co-parenting including the healthiest plans for talking about divorce in the future, introducing children to dating and/or future romantic partners
The benefit of working with our therapists is healthier relationships between children and parents. MentalVerdure.com offers support for the short and long-term impact and expectations of separation and divorce, and are available to help no matter how recently or long ago your family’s transition.
Necessary Losses
- Helping families adjust when members have transitioned out of the immediate family (e.g. College, entering the workforce, marriage, etc.).
Grief Counseling
Death is inevitable, and the loss of loved ones is an unfortunate and stressful reality we all face. Most of us, however, are never really prepared for this experience. The loss of a spouse, partner, parent, child, or even a pet, can leave surviving family members devastated.
While loss and grief are understood as a natural part of life and grieving is expected, the grief response can become complicated, where the bereaved can be overcome by shock and confusion, leading to prolonged periods of sadness or depression. People who struggle with moderate to severe grief reactions for longer periods may become unable to carry out daily activities. These individuals can benefit from the help of our clinicians at MentalVerdure.com who specialize in grief therapy. If you need help dealing with your grief or managing a loss, make an appointment with one of our licensed or certified professionals who can help you build your resilience and develop strategies to help you navigate your life moving forward.
Addition to the Family by Birth, Adoption, or Foster Care
Parenthood is supposed to be an exciting and joyous experience. However, the addition of new members to a family can also produce feelings of anxiety, confusion and stress. Even though couples or single individuals may have been trying to add a child to their family for a long time, and their dreams have become a reality, they often struggle with fears about their ability to raise a healthy, happy child. Whether through pregnancy, adoption, or foster care, parenthood alters lifestyles and responsibilities, and can result in unexpected emotional issues.
Most brand-new moms who give birth expect to be full of joy at the birth of their baby. Therefore, it can be upsetting and confusing when they feel the opposite. Approximately 40 to 80 percent of new mothers experience what is commonly known as the baby blues – where they experience tearfulness, unhappiness, worry, self-doubt, and fatigue. These symptoms typically begin a few days after delivery and go away on their own within a week or two. However, in some new mothers, these feelings can be unusually intense and last longer than two weeks. Professionals often diagnose this syndrome as postpartum depression (PPD).
The symptoms of PPD and depression include:
- Extreme sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness
- Crying all the time
- Loss of interest or lack of enjoyment in your usual activities and hobbies
- Trouble falling asleep at night, or staying awake during the day
- Loss of appetite or eating too much, or unintentional weight loss or weight gain
- Overwhelming feelings of worthlessness or overpowering guilt
- Restlessness or sluggishness
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Feeling that life isn’t worth living
- Being irritable or angry
- Avoiding friends and family
- Worrying excessively about your baby
- Unable to care for your baby
- Being uninterested in your baby
- Feeling so exhausted that you’re unable to get out of bed for hours
In rare cases, some women with PPD experience delusional thoughts or hallucinations that make them concerned that they may harm their baby.
Women who experience PPD are sometimes treated through psychotherapy, antidepressant medication, or both.
PPD among new mothers is common knowledge. However, research now shows that new dads, like new moms, can get postpartum depression. Mood swings in new moms aren’t difficult for others to accept. It is no stretch to imagine pregnancy hormones and fatigue are to blame, and to sympathize with a “blue” mom. A despondent new dad, however, is much more of a mystery to others as well as himself. New dads would fare better with more widespread awareness that an expectant dad can experience hormone fluctuations akin to his spouse or partner.
Whether a new baby or child comes into your lives via birth, adoption, or foster care, or whether it is your first child, a new baby radically alters the dynamics of your lives. Resentment and disconnection can arise when one parent stays home and the other leaves each day for work. Maybe one or both of you experience emotional ebbs and flows from joy and fulfillment to self-doubt and boredom, which can lead to feelings of shame and guilt. As your lives shift in large and small ways, you may long to continue to be your partner’s friend. You might wonder how to create a shared world in which you are both still curious about one another and both of your dreams are understood, honored and valued.
At MentalVerdure.com our providers are here to help you navigate the emotional roller coaster of parenting, whether your new bundle of joy came through childbirth, surrogacy, adoption, or foster care. Our professional group of professionals are here to provide you with the support you need to create a healthy environment for your family.
College Bound Children – Separation Anxiety
The departure of a child to college is a momentous milestone in the life of a family. It ushers in a time of separation and transition, requiring significant adjustment for parents, the college-bound teenager and the whole family.
Most families look forward to, and prepare for children going off to college. However, they are rarely prepared for the emotional aftermath of this transition. Research has shown that the stress levels of college students have been on a constant rise. Some studies also show that emotional distress emerge in multiple forms including anxiety, depression, and eating disorders and are a leading impediment to academic success among college students today.
For parents, feelings of emptiness often characterize this stage of separation as they deal with absence of their children. Parents may feel unprepared or uncomfortable without their roles as primary caretaker and protector.
Although most children and parents navigate and adjust to this new normal, for some the anxiety and distress is extensive and long-lasting. Parents and siblings left behind can experience grief-related distress. Most new college freshmen adjust well to the transition from home to college but some college bound children experience distress that is similar to that with which their parents and other family members struggle. In addition, they experience stress related to adjusting to their new environment and a new life phase.
Relocation
In this transitional environment relocation is necessary for many of us. Relocation may involve moving to another town, city, state, county, district, parish, province, or country. Most individuals will find relocation minimally stressful, and will find ways to establish security and adjust to the new situation within a reasonable timeframe. For others however, the stress of a relocation may continue well beyond normal limits.
In adults, relocation can contribute to underperformance on the job, extra marital affairs, substance abuse and addictions, and neglect of the family leading to separation and/or divorce. Relocation can also affect children and adolescents as it disrupts the routine in which they are comfortable, their social relationships, and removes them from the environment where they feel safe.
Often neglected in the conversation about relocation are older adults who are retired, who depend on their children for support, or those who relocate with their adult children to assist with child care. Since members of this group are often not regarded as members of the nuclear family, the effects of relocation on them are often overlooked, leaving them to suffer in silence.
As individuals age, many also transition from the workforce, move from their homes into retirement communities. Other transitions include assisted living and even partial to fulltime care. Such transitions often involve loss of professional identity, independence, health and general wellbeing. Many elderly individuals grieve these necessary losses. Others might even experience anxiety, depression, and other symptoms that are at levels where psychological care is necessary. Family members who are sometimes forced to make decisions for their elderly relatives and even overrule their wishes to ensure their safety and care can also experience significant distress.
At MentalVerdure.com we can help individuals experiencing excessive psychological discomfort from transitions by assisting family members and family to overcome the issues.